you realize how much effort you make with a person when you don’t text them first for once and they never speak to you again
am I the only one that thinks “I love you.” & “I’m in love with you.” are two totally different things
"I love you" means your heart has made a connection with that person.
"I’m IN love with you" means your heart is invested in them.
no one ever understands when I say this
Sober or drunk, it’s always you."
The thing is, love has always been something so abstract for me. A game. Something I’ll only live superficially. Like, a non lasting good moment.
But now, I’m scared. Scared of the way it touches me. Scared of how fast my heart beats when he’s around. Scared of how empty I feel when he’s not around. Scared of how good he makes me feel. Scared of all this love within me I never knew it was even existing.
I was one of those person you see and think instantaneously “huh she must be one f*cking cold heart, look at the way she stares at ppl”. This is how individuals see me. A cold hearted lady. And this was not upsetting me. I mean, this is how it has always been. I never really cared about people. And as far as I am concerned, no one really cared about me. It was all superficial. Of course there are those 2 or 3 friends. But they are more considered as family than “normal” peeps.
But I became someone I never knew I’ll be. Someone caring. Someone crying. Someone weak. Someone with feelings.
In the last two years, I cried way more than in my 21 years of living. Not because Love is a hurting thing. Because I am afraid. Afraid of how good I might be. Of how good Love could be. How good to me He will be.